Guy: It's not 5:00pm, because we are not swimming right now.

He lets his fingers do the talking...

Guy: "I'm not complaining, it's just my fingers."

Exciting, maybe?

Guy: "That's excition!"

Groundhog Day

QA: It hasn't updated yet because I need to wait 24 hours.
PM: Yeah that won't ever happen because time doesn't exist in our world.

Vanity or Insanity?

Boss [referring to certain documentation]: "So does it look good?"

Guy: "I do, yeah."

Captain Sentence-Structure Strikes Again!

Guy: "What ends up gonna happen is..."

The Lord Provideth

Girl: "Oh, where did this air come from?"

Guy: "God."

Technical Wonders

IT#1: please adjust the flux capacitor and alert the testers when complete.
IT#2: I’m setting the temporal coordinates now and the TARDIS should be dematerializing soon. I’ll alert you when it’s rematerialized…

While waiting on a conference call...

Guy #1: "we're only separated by a thin wall of digits."

Guy #1: It's like a hostile takeover... with petting.

It all makes sense now...

Guy #1: "When did you get this new office?"
Guy #2: "Just this morning..."
Guy #1: "I was wondering why your emails starting making sense all of a sudden."

Quality Family Time

Girl: I died 24 times last night... but, at least, my husband got the best of both worlds: spending time with his wife and a new video game.

Guy #1 (while holding a mouse): Can you click this button for me?