He has a firm grasp on the obvious...

Guy: A key rule in adding an ingredient to a dish is to actually have said ingredient on hand.

Your command does not compute

Boss: "When we you been done?"

Competitivity

A new fictional word heard after a meeting: Competitivity. Still determining the proper definition.

Simple Math!

Guy: "4 tacos times $2 a taco. Simple math = YUM!"

El Yay!

Guy 1: "It's time for a scary doodle!"
Guy 2: ???

How does the aging thing work?

Gal: "He was young well before he was geriatric."

Wait... what kind of humor?

Guy: "I have a self-defecating sense of humor."
Group: ???